TEN-GALLON VAT

By Van Jensen, writer of Green Lantern Corps and Pinocchio, Vampire Slayer (and other comics), magazine editor and Nebraskan transplanted in the South.
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I love me some Wheel of Fortune. Particularly, I love how terrible most contestants are on Wheel of Fortune. The very name of this blog comes from a wayward contestant’s attempt to solve “ten-gallon hat”.

But this dude is a new high. Or a new low. He just kept failing and failing and failing. And the stakes were huge. He could’ve had $1 million AND a new car. Instead he is a meme. But, hey, at least he gave the world so much joy.

Lots of big, crazy stuff coming up in GREEN LANTERN CORPS. I chatted with Comicosity and ComicVine about the looming UPRISING storyline, which crosses over between GREEN LANTERN and GREEN LANTERN CORPS starting in May. 

Some big revelations about B’ox, the box-shaped Green Lantern, are in that Comic Vine interview. Huge, huge things. Boxy things. Prepare for your mind to be blown.

(Above image is cover to GLC #32, by Bernard Chang and Marcelo Maiolo.)

The Pinocchio, Vampire Slayer omnibus is coming in June from Top Shelf! So, so happy to have this story all together in one place, as we always intended it. 500+ pages of comics goodness.

THE LEG is coming.

To my friends in the South, it’s a novelty to know a Nebraskan. And so when Alexander Payne’s Nebraska was coming out, everyone was asking me about it. Had I seen it? How great is it? How realistic is it?

To answer the first question: Yes, finally, while on a plane to California. 

To answer the second: Not. At all. I really disliked it for a number of reasons, to a degree that makes me think this transcends the “watched on a plane” bias. The acting was mostly stiff, which seemed to be a natural extension of a script that was trite and pointless. The dialogue was wretched. Well, aside from one line, the wonderful “Lincoln doesn’t even have an ear” dismissal of Mount Rushmore.

To answer the third: What bugged me most about Nebraska was how little it resembled the real Nebraska. All of the characters aside from the father and son at the center of the story were the worst kind of rural stereotypes, stupid and casually mean. There was one family—the victims of an errant compressor heist—that were warm and kind, and they alone resembled the people I grew up around. People on the Plains are nice. Not universally, no. But on the balance, they are generous, sweet people. Flawed, yes, but still kind and thoughtful. This seemed like an outsider’s vision of Nebraska. I hated it.

If you want a look into that part of the world, go watch (or re-watch) Straight Story, which is David Lynch’s best film (courting controversy alert!) and captures the Plains perfectly. It also is a journey story, one that has a flawless script and top-notch acting. Just try to pretend it’s set in Nebraska, not Iowa.

I always knew the Illuminati was based in Hotlanta. But what are those evil bastards up to?

I always knew the Illuminati was based in Hotlanta. But what are those evil bastards up to?

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Flash #32, out in June! My favorite cover yet from the awesome art team of Brett Booth, Norm Rapmund and Andrew Dalhouse.

In the Durlan storyline that’s been playing out in Green Lantern Corps and Green Lantern over the past several months, we see the reappearance of a long-forgotten Lantern: the Durlan Von Daggle. There are a couple of curious things that happen in his first appearance (do yourself a favor and pick up The Dark Side of Green collection; it’s great) that play a role in our current storyline.

1) The Guardians reference a mysterious “she,” someone who is important to Daggle. “We know where she is,” they say. But who is she? Hmmm. In Green Lantern Corps #29, Daggle makes John Stewart promise to help him find his first partner from the Corps. Could that be the same person? Whoever it is, it isn’t R’amey Holl.

2) Von Daggle never wears a Green Lantern ring. This is part of his presence in The Corpse covert ops unit. But is that the only reason?

Green Lantern Corps #29, out today!

Green Lantern Corps #29, coming at you next week! Art by Bernard Chang and Marcelo Maiolo, story by me. Von Daggle is a bad, bad man. Preview here.

Sort of related note: As of right now, I am a full-time comic book writer. If 10-year-old Van had known this would be his future, he would’ve lost his mind.